A salesman in a strange city was feeling horny and wanted release. He inquired for the address of a good house of ill repute. He was told to go to 365 East West Street.
By mistake, he went to 365 WEST East Street, the office of a podiatrist. Being met by a beautiful woman in a white uniform surprised but intrigued him.
She directed him to an examining room and told him to uncover and someone would be with him soon.
He loved the thought of the table and the reclining chair and was really getting aroused because of the strange and different approach this house offered.
Finally the doctor's assistant, a really gorgeous redhead entered and found him sitting in the chair with his generous member in his hand.
"My goodness", she exclaimed, "I was expecting to see a foot."
"Well," he said, "if you're going to complain about an inch then I'll take my business elsewhere."
One day a man walks in the bar and sits next to an attractive woman. After sitting for a few minutes, the man glances at his watch. The woman, making small talk, turns to him and asks him, "Is your date running late?"
He turned to her and replied, "No, I was just looking at my state of the art watch".
"State of the art watch?", she asked. "And just what makes it so 'state of the art'?".
He replied, "It tells me the answer to almost any question I ask it. Right now, it's telling me you're not wearing a bra or panties".
The woman laughed and said, "Well, your watch must be wrong because I am definitely wearing both."
"Damn!", the man said while tapping on his watch, "This thing's an hour fast again!".
Three old ladies were enjoying a day at the park. A man with a long coat stands in front of them and opens his coat.
The first little old lady looks and has a stroke...The second little old lady looks and has a stroke... The third little old lady coudn't reach that far.
An 85 year old man goes to the doctor to get a sperm count. So the doctor gives him a jar for the man to give a sample in the next day.
The old man comes back the next day and the jar was empty.The doctor asks what happened .The man says I asked my wife to help .First she tried with her mouth,with her teeth and then with her teeth out,nothing.Then she tried with her hand,first with left then with her right still nothing.Then we called over my neighbor Taylor still nothing.
The doctor yells you asked your neighbor.
The old man says yeah ,but we couldn't get that damn jar open!
Three old women are sitting on a bench in a park when a man jumps out and flashes them. Two of the women immediately have a stroke but the third one can't quite reach.
One day two Sperms were swimming vigorously and one Sperm asks the other: "How much further do we have until we reach the egg??"
The other Sperm replys:
"I dunno, but i think we just passed the tonsils!!"
Man walks into a bar and orders six double bourbons and the barman asks the man what his troubles were.
"No troubles", said the customer "In fact I am celebrating".
"Celebrating what?" asked the barman.
"I have just had my first blowjob". came the reply.
"In that case let me give you a seventh double on the house" replied the barman.
"No Thanks", said the man "If six don't get rid of the taste nothing will!"
There was a man who came home and said to his wife "I only have 24 hrs to live". The wife started to cry. Later on they went to bed. The husband asks his wife if she will have sex with him. His wife says "Yes". Later the husband says "I only have 10 more hours to live, will you have sex again?" The wife responds, "Yes".
Then once they were finished the wife fell asleep. Once again he asks her "Please, once again can we have sex?"
She turns over and says: "NO. I have to get up in the morning - You don't!".
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